


Here He Was

by Why_do_you_want_to_know



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Wings, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), But I regret nothing, Castiel (Supernatural)'s Handprint, Castiel Cares, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Crying Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Lawyer Sam Winchester, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Stanford Student Sam Winchester, but he was, but i love it anyway, i dont know what this is, i dont know why i wrote this, no beta we die like men, pancake bribary, well.... not anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 11:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19991767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Why_do_you_want_to_know/pseuds/Why_do_you_want_to_know
Summary: Canon divergence where Dean never went to get Sam in season 1. Everything else happened as we know it, just with no Sam. (Don't think about how that works too hard, it wont work.) Sam becomes a lawyer and gets on with his life while Dean is saving the world. The only other main difference is Dean and Cas are dating.Basically Dean gets caught and is being put on trial, however Sam is the lawyer trying to get him thrown in prison.Saying that, although that is how this fic started off, its a monster and i don't know what this is any more! :)





	Here He Was

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!! I have a story for you!!  
> This is my first fic in this fandom so i'm sorry if anyone is OOC.  
> Hope you enjoy!!  
> (Just warning you this is un'beta'd sorry. I also have no idea how the legal system works, and i'm british so don't know how America works so yea....)

Dean knew that this day would come.

If he had known that day would be today then he might have taken a holiday or maybe just decided not to stop for pie after stopping the ghost. Maybe that would have stopped this whole fiasco but it's not like Dean will ever admit that.

It had been a simple milk run, a salt and burn, he knew who the ghost was even before leaving the bunker. It was going to be a day trip, back before dinner. In fact he had expected it to be so quick he had told Cas to stay home.

"It's fine," he had said "it's a quick milk run, you need to stay here in case someone calls"

Cas had looked like he wanted to argue, but even Mr 'over possessive angel of the lord' had to admit that a quick salt and burn didn't need two people.

And now Dean was here.

His phone was gone (it was one of the first things they had taken from him), he was handcuffed to a table, he had been gone for 4 days and to make matters even better he was on trial.

The room which he had spent the last 4 days in, before being moved into this equally plain room, was very bland. Bare walls, bare door, bare ceiling. Dean had nothing to do but count paint cracks, floor tiles and various other things. Last night he had got so bored, unable to sleep due to the lumpy mattress and lack of the warm body of his boyfriend to chase away his nightmares, that he had counted the number of disturbances. There had been 5 different drunks yelling about how they were completely sober, there had been 3 people crying randomly, Dean couldn't tell if they were crazy or just sad, and there had been 8 times when the on duty guard had paused outside his cell and listened for anything suspicious. There had also been a few random noises which Dean couldn't quite place, they were noticeable noises but not recognisable which ended up just putting Dean on edge.

Over all he had spent the last 4 days paranoid and lonely, hoping that Cas would come and bust him out soon. He had tried on the first two days to bust out on his own, but whoever designed the holding cells had clearly been taught similar tricks to Dean because every way he could think of had been blocked. And he hadn't left the cells until today so he had no other chances of escape.

He knew that Cas was probably looking for him by now, probably was already in the town, but there wasn't much he could do. Because sure, he was a badass angel who could smite 20 demons with a snap of his fingers, but these were innocent humans, and Dean couldn't let them die even if they did handcuff him to a table. Which, for the record, was very rude!

"Hello Mr Johnson" an oldish bald man said as he walked into the room. He seemed normal enough, a little owlish sure but, from a first glance, like an overall good guy. He was dressed smart in a slightly oversized suit, telling Dean this was probably his lawyer and, if the stack of papers in his hand was anything to go by, he was here to discuss Dean's court case.

"My name is Mr Daniels" he introduced himself, offering a hand for Dean to shake which Dean returned with a slight smirk.

"Nice to see you." He said, with only a hint of sarcasm. To be completely honest, he would rather be anywhere but here but Cas always said to be polite and it wasn't exactly Daniels' fault that Dean had been busted. "You here to bust me out?" Ok, so Cas said to be polite, he never said anything about messing with them.

"Well… not exactly" was Daniels' response, he had paled slightly as he took in Dean's smirk and the way he leaned back in his chair, clearly he was a teacher's pet back in high school. "I'm here to represent you in court and hopefully get you out of here, or worst case scenario get you a reduced sentence."

Dean nodded. He wasn't too worried. After all, his boyfriend could destroy walls by touching them. Even if he got convicted he was sure that Cas would be able to jail break him out.

"Ok then, whatcha need to know" Dean asked

It was about half an hour later that Mr Daniels left the room, pitching the bridge of his nose like he had a headache and looking overall not confident about the case later in the day.

Dean was left in his empty room, still handcuffed to the table, grinning like a madman and laughing so hard he thought he might split his sides, or at least fall of his rickety old chair.

Ah yes. Messing with lawyers. It really was his favourite pastime, even if he did have to stay polite so as to not invoke the holy anger of one celestial being.

Dean's smile did not falter once in the next two hours he spent alone handcuffed to his table. It was in fact impossible to feel hopeless when you know your bad ass boyfriend won't let any harm come to you. And if anyone does hurt him? Well they basically have given themselves a fast pass ticket to hell.

The room he was left in (the bare one with the handcuff table) reminded him quite a lot of his old school detention, but with less people and more crime, it was equally boring and lonely. 

Dean had gotten quite a lot of detentions over the years he was in school. His reasons varied from not doing his homework (normally because Sam had stolen the sheet for drawing paper and Dean hadn't had the heart to tell him off) to skiving lessons (John needed urgent research and/or backup, apparently school didn't matter as much as the family business, Dean didn't dare argue) to just straight up disappearing for a few days (that was normally due to him not being able to walk or having too visible injuries, either from a hunt or someone a little closer to home) obviously Dean hadn't gone to all of the various detentions he had gotten, only the ones when he liked the teacher or the school. When he wanted to stay and make a life for him and his family, those were normally the places they only stayed for a few weeks before John moved then on, he had a skill for keeping then in places Dean hated for longer and places he liked for less time.

Over the years he had gotten good at passing the time in boring places, so the hours in his bare room, handcuffed to a table weren't so bad. Out of everything, he really was most annoyed about the handcuffed to a table bit.

*********

When they eventually moved him for court, he walked into the courtroom and took his seat with his head held high, a massive smirk still splitting his face as he swore to tell the truth on his boyfriend's dad's book and even as the opposition was introduced.

That was of course until he saw *who* it was trying to get him thrown in the slammer. When he saw who it was he felt his grin fall, his heart shatter and, for the first time in about two years, he felt a desperate need for Cas. Sure he loved Cas, with all his heart actually, and always wanted him around, but it had been two years since he had desperately needed Cas to be practically glued to his side. Two years since Cas had been able to leave for more than two weeks without Dean being sure he was never coming back. 

Never coming back like John. Never coming back like Sammy. Because Dean was a people repellent. Everyone he loved left because he wasn't good enough. Because he was a failure. Because he was Dean and Dean wasn't good enough for people to stay. Just like John always said. He was a failure at hunting and a failure at being a son. No one wanted a useless lump like him around. So one by one they all abandoned him.

And yet Cas had stayed. They had been through some tough times and Cas had never left. Not during the apocalypse not during Dean's nightmares and by now Dean had realised that maybe, just maybe, Cas wasn't planning on ever leaving. Maybe be wanted to stay. Maybe he would never abandon him.

Everyone got ready. The judge walked in. Everyone sat down. Someone was talking. Dean couldn't hear them. It was like his ears were underwater, everything muffled, but Dean didn't have the energy to clear them.

Because there. Right In front of him. Trying to get him convicted for whatever his crimes were, (he didn't bother listening when everyone told him earlier). Right there was the person he never thought he would see again. Right there, like he never left, was Sammy.

He felt like he was a second away from breaking down, a second away from the tight bundle in his chest forcing itself upwards and breaking through all his barriers, leaving him collapsed in its wake with no one to pick up his pieces but himself. 

Sam started talking. Dean still couldn't hear. All that echoed around his head was memories.

Sam a tiny baby, snug in Mary's arms as he and John crowd close. Mary looked tired but happy, smiling down at the little bundle. "This is your brother" she had told him "you have to look after him and make sure he's happy." Dean had nodded. He would make sure Sammy was always happy. 

There was a discussion going on. Dean didn't know who was talking. Were they talking about him? Did it even matter?

Sam as a little toddler saying his first word "Dee" as he reached out for his brother, John nowhere to be seen, probably too busy hunting to bother listening to his youngest son's first words.

Sam was looking straight at him. He might have been asking a question. Dean didn't have the energy to figure it out. All his energy was ripped from him when he saw Sam for the first time in about a decade here, with Sam trying to get him locked away in prison. Once again Dean wondered what his crimes actually were.

Sam in middle school doing the high school work Dean smuggled for him or, if Dean couldn't find any to smuggle, doing Dean's. He just didn't hand anything in with a 'sorry I forgot'. His brother was more important that his education.

Sam didn't recognise him. It wasn't not much of a surprise. You change a lot after stopping multiple apocalypses and other world ending threats. Dean didn't think he would recognise Sam either if he wasn't the older brother. Sam had shot up, he looked like a moose by now.

Sam in high school, discussing options with Dean. Options of university. Sam was desperate to go. Dean knew that he never would but if he could get his brother through university, then maybe one of them could do something with their life. "Dean, which uni do you want to go to?" Sam had asked. Dean had just smiled in reply and said "I can't go to uni Sammy, I have to stay and help dad!" Sam's face had never fallen quicker than in that moment. Dean tried his best to pretend that he didn't want to go to uni anyway.

Now they are definitely asking him questions. He should have probably answered. Probably said something. But Dean's mouth was stuck shut, too dry to say anything. He didn't have enough air in his lungs to form noises, not that anyone else would be able to tell. The only thing Dean was good at? Having a panic attack without making a noise, suppressing it under the surface until he could go somewhere quiet to release it. It was always better to suppress then show John any weakness.

He wished Cas was here.

Sam, he was leaving. He had gotten into Stanford with a free ride. Dean was so proud. He knew that it was Sammy who would make something of his life. Sam was the brain, Dean was just the brawl. "Come with me? Please." Sam had said. He wanted Dean to go, to leave John to his hunting, he said they could both do something with their lives other than go on a wild goose chase across the country. Dean had said "I'm sorry Sam, Dad needs me here." And Sam had left.

That was the last time they had seen each other, and now Sam was here. So close. Yet so far. Staying with John hadn't been a good idea for Dean, he knew what would happen if Sam left, but he couldn't go, no one else wanted him, he had nowhere else to go. Dean didn't regret it. If he had left he would have never met Cas, he wouldn't have his amazing boyfriend who he loved with everything he had. A lot of bad stuff had happened but Cas made it all worth it.

He wished Cas was here.

Sam never knew, and he never would know what happened behind closed doors. And now Sam was right in front of him. Two words and Sam would recognise him. Two words and Dean would have his brother back. But Sam worked hard to get here. He worked hard to get out of the life. Dean wasn't going to bring him back just because he missed him. After Cas got him out of here, they would never see each other again.

"You're useless, you can't even raise your brother right! If you had he wouldn't have left us!" Dean remembered this clearly. Sam had just left, John had just found out. He was furious. He blamed Dean, Dean wasn't sure whether it was his fault or not but John was certain.

They were still trying to ask him something. Or maybe they were talking to each other by now. Did they think he was just being uncooperative? Dean didn't know how the legal system worked. Maybe if he could hear what they were saying he would know but it still sounded like he was underwater.

"I wish you had died in the fire, not Mary! I hate you so much!" John's words, spat at where Dean had fallen onto the ground, hurt almost as much as his punches and his kicks. Yes he had always known that John didn't love him, but being told he was hated was a step up from what he knew.

He was stuck in his head. He knew that. Stuck in his memories, they weren't even nice memories anymore, now they were just memories of John, the memories he had tried his best to bury. John was dead. He didn't need to remember him. And yet he couldn't stop. He knew that only Cas would be able to pull him out of his head but Cas wasn't here, so he was stuck.

"Why are you left and all my actual family gone! You can't hunt! You can't raise your brother! You're just a lump with no uses other than bate and a human shield! No wonder everyone leaves you!" Dean had cowered. He hadn't fought back. He had no other place in the world other than hunting alongside his dad.

He had no other place in the world except hunting alongside his dad.

And his dad was dead.

So where is his place in the world?

A crash gained the attention of the entire room. Everyone turned to the doors which had been thrown open, except Dean who was too busy having an existential crisis.

"Excuse me!" The Judge called "you can't just walk in here!"

But the mysterious figure paid him no attention as he walked in, his trench coat billowing out behind him. As soon as he laid his eyes on Dean he stopped and just looked. Clearly he didn't like what he saw because a second later he was running forwards yelling out.

"Babe? Oh my dad! I was so worried! You said a day! You were gone for 4 days!" Everyone's curious looks changed to concern as the figure started talking to the man on trial "Are you ok! I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you! I had to drive up from the bunker and then find where you had gone!"

The gravelly voice broke through the underwater like muffle of Dean's ears and he found himself turning towards its source, grounding himself in it's words. He recognised that person, only they could ever pull him out of his head.

The other people in the room moved forward to try and block him but he just breezed past toward Dean.

"I would recommend you don't move any closer to me or him" the figure threatened narrowing his eyes in a way that clearly showed he would follow through with any threats he made "or I swear to Dad you will never leave this room."

With his threat laid out he moved to where Dean was sitting, pulling him into a hug. "It's ok Dean, I'm here, let it out." He whispered into his hair. 

"Cas" Dean coughed out, finally finding his voice as he curled into Cas' warmth.

"Yes, it's ok, I'm here, breathe." Cas replied, speaking softly as he rubbed Dean's back. Dean smiled slightly despite the situation, he could never stay frowning when Cas was around.

"You can't be here!" Someone yelled sounding affronted "you can't just walk in here and hug Mr Johnson! He's on trial!"

"Mr Johnson? Oh right Mr Johnson." Cas started, before turning a full on glare at the speaker "well I wouldn't have just walked in, but clearly you couldn't see he was having a panic attack and someone needed to help!" 

Dean couldn't completely see Cas' glare from the angle he was at, but that wasn't something he was too sad about, he had only had that glare turned on him a few times, normally while he was trying to say that his dad had been right about him, but he was not planning on earning it any more often. It was a truly threatening glare.

Cas' statement caused everyone to pause for a moment and turn towards Dean who at that moment was curled up next to Cas, holding on tightly to his trench coat. From an outside perspective, it looked like Dean was clinging onto Cas to ground himself. However, though that was partially the case, he was mainly holding Cas back and stopping him from trying to smite everyone in the room.

"No, that wasn't a panic attack. I've seen a panic attack once or twice before." one of the crowd members said as if they knew anything about panic attacks, before Sam cut in.

"Actually, that probably was a panic attack. He probably just learned how to have them silently, I knew someone who did that once." Dean swallowed heavily. He had hoped that Sam would never figure out what was going on when they were little, clearly he wasn't that lucky.

Cas nodded in Sam's direction. The look on his face told Dean that he vaguely recognised Sam but hadn't quite pinpointed where from. Dean guessed the recognition was from the family resemblance but then again there was the possibility they had passed each other before.

"What's going on?" Cas muttered to Dean clearly deciding to ignore the people all around them. "what triggered this?"

Dean took a deep breath, his panic attack subsiding now that his angel was here. He thought about lying, saying it was nothing then asking if they could go. Cas wouldn't push, not if Dean wasn't ready, but Dean waned Cas to know, wanted to tell him. "Sammy" he croaked out.

"Sammy?" Cas replied before snapping his head up.

"Don't tell him please. He escaped." Dean quickly added so quietly only Cas would be able to hear, he wasn't going to drag Sam back into the life. He wasn't.

Cas nodded, he wasn't going to go against Dean's wishes, he never did.

Cas turned his head, looking for someone who looked like Dean's brother. Dean saw the moment his gaze landed on Sam. He watched as Cas looked closer, looking at the man's soul. Dean couldn't see souls but he assumed Sam's would look a lot like his, just brighter and with less scars.

"You're right," Cas muttered into his ear "it is similar, but you're wrong if you think his will be brighter than yours. You, my righteous man, have the brightest soul I have ever seen." At Dean's confused look he continued "you think too loud sometimes." Dean swatted at him slightly for that, he had told him not to read his mind many times, Cas just never listened when Dean's self hatred was anywhere near.

"Sam Winchester?" Cas asked, turning to Sam.

"Yes, that's me," Sam said, put his hand up "why?"

Cas just nodded, turning back to Dean "nice to finally meet you."

Dean smiled as Cas turned back to him, he watched as Cas' eyes softened as their gazes locked. "Thank you." Dean muttered quietly which Cas responded to with a smile and another nod.

"Do I know you?" Sam asked sounding confused.

Cas shook his head "no." Sam looked like he wanted to say something, probably along the lines of 'how do you know me then!' but Dean had just managed to catch his breath and gather enough energy to move.

"Ok" Dean said breezily, trying to hide the fact that a minute before he had been having a panic attack (Cas tried to convince him that showing weakness wasn't a bad thing but Dean just wasn't having it) "well if we're done here, we need to leave."

Cas nodded and stood up, letting Dean stand on his own and waiting until they we're standing shoulder to shoulder before walking forwards. That was one of the many things Dean loved about Cas. He may be an overprotective, many powered angel of the lord but he treated puny little Dean as an equal.

"You can't just leave!" The judge said but Dean just ignored him while Cas turned his burning glare on him,

"Who's going to stop me?" He asked, a challenge in his tone and in his gaze. Dean smiled and tried to hold back a laugh, personally he couldn't think of anything that could stop Cas so he knew for a fact that these mere humans wouldn't be able too.

"You can't leave in the laws of God!" Someone called back to them causing Cas to once again start to glare and cause Dean to lose his battle against laughing.

"Honestly, I don't think Dad cares what I do with my boyfriend." Cas said as they left the room, neither men looking back as they burst through the door, leaving silence in their wake.

"Blasphemy." One of the men muttered, Dean just hearing it from where they were just beyond the doors.

"Thank you" he said again, all but collapsing into Cas' side for a moment before straightening up again "where are you parked? I think we should head back to the bunker before they realise what's happening."

Cas nodded in agreement "I saw Baby in the parking lot, I'm parked just next to her, come on."

Together they walked to their cars and climbed in, both of them ready for the long journey back home.

********

Normally Dean chose to do long drives in one go, but about half way through he started getting increasingly hungry so he quickly sent a prayer to Cas telling him he was going to stop at the next diner to get some food.

When he eventually pulled into the diner parking lot, Cas just behind him, he was practically ravenous, so it was no surprise that he quickly bundled his boyfriend into the nearest booth and grabbed a menu.

"Hey there!" A petite blonde woman said walking over to their booth "what can I get you?" She stopped next to them and sent a blinding smile at Dean. Dean noticed how she carefully avoided looking at Cas for more than a second.

Dean smiled back at her to be polite but really, he wasn't interested. Sure a few years ago she would have been right up his alley, but now? He had an awesome boyfriend who was right across the booth from him.

"I'll have a cheeseburger please," He said "and he will have.."

"I'm fine thank you" Cas said

Dean nodded but rolled his eyes slightly. He knew for a fact that Cas would steal half his chips, even if he 'didn't need to eat'.

"Just the cheeseburger then please."

The waitress clearly tried to get Dean's attention again but after a failed attempt at eye contact, she turned to take their order back to the kitchen.

"I think she wanted to 'get with you'" Cas said, air quotes and all, causing Dean to burst out laughing.

"Yeah Cas" Dean replied "I think so too." At Cas' worried expression he lent across the table and clasped Cas' hands in his "I also think that even after all this time, you're worried about me leaving you."

Cas ducked his head slightly, giving Dean all the answer he needed. Sometimes he seriously wondered why Cas acted like he was the one settling for second best, like Dean could do so much better than Cas. Dean knew the truth. Cas could do so much better, but for some reason chose Dean and, although he didn't deserve it, Dean was going to cling to him with every ounce of strength he had.

"Silly angel. I am yours, now and forever. You don't need to worry about me leaving you," Dean said quietly. "the hand print on my shoulder is proof of that enough." He added with a shrug.

Cas blushed slightly at the mention of the hand print before saying "you are mine and I am yours, it's ok, I trust you," he paused for a second before saying "it just annoys me sometimes when people think they can just smile sweetly and you will fall at their feet."

Dean nodded "it's ok, your stuck with me now, no matter how many people smile sweetly in my direction." This drew a quiet laugh from Cas which had been exactly what he was going for, so he was able to relax knowing that Cas was happy again.

A few minutes later the waitress returned with Dean's burger and only then did Dean release Cas' hands.

Just as Dean predicted, half his chips were stolen by Cas. He didn't mind too much though because the cheeky smile Cas sent him every time he stole one made it worth it. 

Once they had finished their food and paid the diner, they headed back onto the road with a kiss goodbye and a promise to drive safe.

*******

Late that evening, both cars pulled into the bunker garage and two incredible tired people climbed out.

"Ughhhh" Dean groaned "normally I'd want food after a long drive but I ate earlier but haven't slept fully in 4 days so I think sleep is more important right now."

Cas nodded again in agreement, Dean noticed that he was being overly quiet which normally meant that Cas was trying to suppress some angel custom, either weird or personal, for fear of offending Dean or being too overbearing.

"Ok out with it." Dean said "what are you hiding?"

Cas gulped slightly as he turned, making Dean want to laugh. How did this puny little human manage to make an immortal wave of celestial intent, gulp?

"Ummm….. are you sure you want to know?" Cas asked.

Dean rolled his eyes "Come on, tell me, it's not like I have to agree or anything is it?"

Cas nodded in agreement. "Ok fine, get ready for bed, then I'll tell you"

Dean agreed, though he was slightly apprehensive, what on earth could Cas have been thinking about? Seeing as Cas had told him to get ready for bed first it was probably bordering into personal, not weird, but that didn't ease much of Dean's worry. In fact the only thing that eased any of his worry was the fact that this was Cas. He trusted Cas. With his life in fact.

He carefully got ready for bed, brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower, he hadn't showered for as long as he hadn't slept so he thought he might want to get rid of the worst of his stink before curling up with Cas.

He managed to be all ready for bed in about 20 minutes and by the time he emerged from the bathroom, hair still slightly wet from the shower and dressed in a nightshirt and boxers, Cas was already sitting on their bed in his own nightwear.

"Come on." Cas said quietly as he moved to his side of the bed. Dean complied with no argument, walking to his own side and sliding into the cool sheets.

They had done this many many times but Dean could feel a slight tension in the air, not caused by the earlier events of the day or the 4 days apart, more likely it was caused by Cas' apprehension for whatever angel thing he had planned.

It only took a moment before Cas was pulling Dean into the middle of their bed, his angel strength making it easier than you would expect.

Dean knew better than to wriggel as Cas carefully positioned him, he hadn't been going out with an angel for many years without him realising that if your angel decides it what's you in its nest, it's best to just go with it and argue once they are happy.

Angels didn't nest in the same way birds do, in fact they don't call it nests at all. But Dean, the smartass that he was, took one look at how Cas was acting and decided 'that's nesting' and Cas had never been able to convince him otherwise.

In the end Cas decided the correct place for Dean tonight was tucked against his chest, one of Cas' arms rested possessively over his hip. Their legs were tangled together in a way which was so familiar, it was comforting and Dean knew he was safe in his angel’s arms. Dean had to guess that it was the 4 days apart causing Cas to be a little extra clingy, not that he was complaining. He had to agree, his place was always with Cas, however Cas wanted him at the time.

Dean only had a moment to wonder what today's angel tradition would be before a whoosh notice filled the air of their room and the air around them felt off. Dean twisted slightly, making sure not to move too far and mess up Cas' not-quite-nest but he couldn't see anything in the room.

Cas seemed to have relaxed slightly so Dean turned back, wondering what he had heard. He was only wondering for a moment before a new weight added itself on top of his duvet. He looked again but when he still couldn't see anything the answer was clear. Wings.

"Wings?" Dean asked as he curled even closer to Cas then he had been put.

"It is angel custom to cover those you care about with your wings. It is a sign of protection." Cas whispered, slightly squeezing Dean's waist as he spoke "it means that you are under my protection. For as long as you want me."

Dean nodded, a shy smile gracing his face, "In that case, you better be ready to stick around forever." He hoped that Cas would be able to hear the sincerity underneath his joking tone.

Cas may have been promising to stay with Dean as long as he wanted, but as far as Dean was concerned, he wanted Cas forever. He just wasn't sure Cas would want him for that long.

Dean lay there, the weight of their shared duvet, Cas' arm and now Cas' wings weighing him down nicely, keeping him grounded in the here and now and not the terrors of his past. He knew that if Cas' presence alone wasn't enough to chase away his nightmares, him being there when he woke would be enough. His nightmares cowered in the presence of such a bright creature.

That night, Dean slept soundly, the stress of the last 4 days catching up with him and drowning him under the veil of sleep. Cas was here, he wasn't alone, he was safe.

******

The next morning Dean woke slowly. The bed was warm and he felt safe, overall a lovely way to start a day. He opened his eyes carefully and was greeted with the sight of Cas smiling down on him. 

Back before they were together, Dean used to think the angel watching him sleep was just creepy and weird, but now it made him smile because he saw what it was, a way of Cas showing that he cared, that he wanted to keep him safe. It was a promise, a promise that he would always be there.

"Hey Cas," Dean said, his voice croaky from disuse over the past few hours "what time is it?"

Cas' smile widened even more than before as he answered "it's about 1 in the afternoon, you've been asleep for quite a while, I didn't want to wake you because you clearly needed it."

Dean hummed in agreement, he hadn't realised how dead he had felt until he had stopped feeling it. Now he thought back he was wondering how he was still functioning yesterday. He would guess it was only thanks to John's 'we can sleep when we are dead' attitude that he had managed to keep going. Old habits die hard after all.

He was quite content to just lie there with Cas for the rest of forever, or at least until the next apocalypse, but unfortunately his body had other ideas because at that moment his stomach decided to let out a loud rumble of protest, reminding him he hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch.

"Come on love," Cas said, already moving to stand "I think that's our que to start the day."

Dean's response to this was just to groan. He knew it was true but that didn't mean be had to like it.

"Come on" Cas tempted "I'll make pancakes if you get up now."

That was all it took for Dean to drag himself out of bed and towards the bathroom for his morning shower. The sound of Cas laughing followed him in but it was such a calming sound that Dean decided not to be offended. Anyway, Cas' pancakes were damn good.

10 minutes later he emerged from the shower all sparkly and clean. He quickly dressed in his normal jeans and flannel attire before putting his boots on.

The smell of cooked pancakes wafted through the bunker from the kitchen, causing Dean to hurry his pace as he walked towards his breakfast.

He wandered into the room, trying to avoid looking like he had speedwalked all the way from their room for pancakes. Sadly one glance at Cas told him he had been unsuccessful as he was smiling and looking like Dean was the funniest thing he had seen all day.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, your pancakes are tasty." Dean muttered as he wandered forwards and slid his hands to gently grip Cas' hips, pressing a chastise kiss to his angel's lips.

A hum of agreement was all he got in return before a plate of pancakes and a bottle of syrup were slid along the table to where he would be sitting.

Dean quickly pulled away to go eat. What! His angel's pancakes really were that tasty and he really was that hungry!

He only got a few syrup filled mouthfuls before his angel decided that the short chastise kiss from earlier wasn't enough and he was pulling Dean back in for another deeper kiss.

It tasted of syrup and Cas' peculiar 'air after rain' taste and honestly, Dean thought it was heavenly.

He was in the middle of wondering whether he should deepen it even more, or pull away and eat his food, when the choice was taken away from him with a knock at the door.

"Who could that be?" Dean wondered aloud as he slowly moved backwards away from Cas. "We aren't expecting anyone are we?"

"Eat your breakfast." Was Cas' response as the angel started walking towards the door.

That was all the answer Dean needed. They weren't expecting anyone and Cas was especially on edge after Dean's 4 day disappearance. He knew it was probably best to stay where he was and allow Cas to deal with whatever it was so, giving Cas a nod to show he understood, he sat back down and picked up his fork.

Even if he told Cas he would stay where he was, no one said anything about listening, so in-between bites of worryingly good pancakes, he kept an ear out for whoever was at the door.

He heard the as the door creaked open, then a voice. A familiar voice. A very familiar voice.

He didn't bother listening to any more. He stood up and ran into the war room, standing just out of sight from the door.

"It's him. I know it is. Dean is in this bunker." Sam said, sounding surprisingly calm for someone who was in the middle of trying to brush past an angel to go looking for the angel's boyfriend.

"Yes he is" agreed Cas, moving to block Sam even more.

An annoyed huff came from Sam as he realised that despite being about a head taller, he couldn't push past Cas.

"And you are not coming inside, not yet."

Dean smiled. A mixture of the fact Cas really was planning to protect him from anything and the fact that clearly Sam didn't realise that Cas wasn't all human, making him want to burst out laughing. 

He wondered momentarily about just going back and finishing his pancakes, letting Cas handle it as he saw fit, but really there was only one thing to do. He needed to speak to his brother, he needed to know, well, everything.

Taking a deep breath to prepare himself, he stepped out of the shadows and slowly climbed the steps.

"Come on Cas, let him in, it's not like we would struggle to throw him out if he tries anything." He said carefully, sending a pointed look at Sam as he said the last bit. It was a warning, Sam wouldn't be able to read it any other way.

Cas still seemed tense, even as he moved aside to allow Sam access to the bunker, so Dean gently knocked into him, the action having the desired response as Cas instantly relaxed at the contact and made to walk down the stairs, gesturing Sam to follow him and take a seat.

Dean carefully shut the dood, waiting until both Cas and Sam were seated before slowly walking down the stairs.

"Cas, this as you know is my little brother Sam. Sam, this is Castiel." He introduced them to each other, carefully missing out what Cas was to him. It wasn't that he was ashamed or anything, he just wanted to see his brother for a little bit first, just in case he did react badly.

"Why are you here Sam?" He asked slowly, noticing Sam's wince at his lack of nickname.

"Well, last night I had a dream. It was of you, us when we were little. I realised that 'Mr Johnson' from yesterday was you, and well….. how much I've missed you over the years…" Sam started before Cas cut him off.

"You've missed him?" Cas said darkly, sounding dangerous but blank to anyone who hadn't spent enough time with him. Anyone who had, would be able to identify that it was his protective instincts waking up even more and that he was the opposite to blank in that moment. "If you missed him why have you never gotten in touch before. Clearly you were able too."

Dean looked over at his brother who was shrinking away from Cas' angry tone as the angel turned his full righteous glare on him. Dean knew that even without Sam knowing Cas' angel status, he would know he wasn't fully human by now. The angel's power was clearly there crackling beneath the surface as he spoke.

"It's ok Cas." Dean said quietly, laying his hand on Cas' arm before turning to Sam, "carry on, why did you come looking for me?"

His tone was full of suspicion, he knew that, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't seen his brother since he left for Stanford. Sam had a life now as a lawyer, so what was he doing looking into Dean's life? Dean was happy. He had Cas. But that was one of the problems. He knew that the world was a lot more accepting now, but that didn't mean John was, so it didn't mean Sam would be. That was one of his greatest fears, that Sam would hate him, be disgusted by him, because of his sexualitie. And even if Sam was ok with Cas being a man, would he be ok with him being an angel? He was basically one of the things they spent their childhood hunting.

Before his thoughts could spiral any more, Cas broke the silence the room had descended into as they waited for Sam's answer "he's not John, Dean." At Dean's surprise look he smiled slightly and murmured "you were thinking too loud again."

Dean shook his head, thinking about telling Cas off for listening to his thoughts again, but got cut off by Sam deciding to answer.

"I missed you. I suddenly realised how long it's been since we spoke. I don't know how you are, how dad is, I don't know anything about our family!" He said, almost sounding shocked about what he was saying "I don't even know if you ever caught what killed Mum."

Dean, who had paled slightly at the mention of John, and the fact that Sam still called him 'dad' (neither him nor Cas had referred to John as Dean's parent in a long time), swallowed slightly as he said "oh yea. It has been awhile hasn't it." He looked over at Cas a moment to give him strength before saying,as though he was reading from a fact sheet, "Azazel, yellow eyes, the thing that killed Mum, is dead. John Winchester, is dead. I am not dead, anymore anyway. I'm fine."

Sam looked a little shocked at the fact his dad was dead before saying "wait! What do you mean you're not dead anymore!"

Dean just shook his head slightly "long story, it didn't stick."

Sam looked even more confused than before, but luckily for him, Cas decided to take pity.

One touch to his forehead and Sam knew everything that had happened since he left, well almost everything, Cas left out some of the more personal stuff, he kept Sam on a need to know basis, as in he only showed him things he needed to know to understand and left out the things that weren't needed.

"You're an angel!" He gasped at Cas before the implication of that fully sank in "Huh… you really weren't joking in court yesterday when you said God was your dad." Then he turned to look at Dean before turning back to talk to Cas again "And you pulled Dean out of Hell!"

Cas nodded while Dean pulled up his sleeve to show his shoulder "I still have the scar and everything."

Sam nodded, shock filling his face at the handprint shaped scar that took over Dean's shoulder, before his face turned grave, "Dad really did all that?" He asked, gesturing to his head as he spoke.

Dean looked down, slightly ashamed. Before he could open his mouth to answer something which would have probably ended up self deprecating, Cas walked over and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Yes, he did." He said, turning so be was facing Sam. "And I can tell you for a fact that if John Winchester wasn't already dead by the time I met Dean, he wouldn't have survived much longer." Cas' voice was grave, showing both Winchester brothers that there was no doubt that it was true.

Sam nodded, the mood instantly sobering before he asked "and what about you two, how did you end up an item?" 

At Dean's confused look Cas explained "I only showed him what he needed to know. That included that we were together and if he hurt you he would have me to answer to, but not how we ended up together."

Dean nodded in understanding before staying "well you know, you stop the world from ending a couple of times, it makes you realise you don't have forever, and apparently that involves telling your best friend about your huge crush." He smiled up at Cas as he finished talking

Sam saw the look and made a face "Great, I've reconnected with you for 10 minutes and you are already overly sickly sweet. I can already tell that if I stick around I'm going to have to get used to catching my older brother kissing."

Dean laughed a little at his little brothers affronted time before saying "So you don't mind then…. That he's a man and also an angel?"

Sam shook his head, a sad smile on his face "No, I'm not dad, I don't care. Love is love after all."

Dean grinned even wider, his brother accepted him. His brother didn't care that Cas was a man! Or that he was kinda a monster!

"Well now you know what happened with me," he said with a smile, "so what's happened with you in the last few years?"

Sam smiled "well…."

*****

The three men stayed talking for the rest of the day and half way into the night. They made sure to exchange numbers before Sam had to head off for his job the next day.

"Thank you." Dean said quietly as they curled into bed that night, Cas' wings protecting them both once again and Dean happily being hugged against Cas' chest.

He was reconnecting with his brother. He had his boyfriend. He was safe. He was happy.

Dean never thought this day would come. 

If you would have told 18 year old him that one day he would be happily bisexual, he would have looked shocked at the idea of ever leaving the closet and wouldn't have believed you.

And if you had told him at any point in the last few years that he would manage to reconnect with his brother, and Sam wouldn't care that he was dating a male angel, he wouldn't have believed you.

Yet here he was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!  
> I hope you enjoyed!!  
> Please leave kudos and/or comments. They only take a minute and really do mean the world to me!!  
> Have an amazing day/night!! :) :) :)


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